Coercive Control
Tom's Story
“I lived in fear of doing something wrong.”
Tom, 58, faced ongoing coercive control: restrictions on friends, monitoring phone, controlling meals, controlling clothes. It was exhausting and isolating.
“It wasn’t one punch. It was the constant fear that whatever I did would upset her. I felt like I had no life of my own.”
Evidence & Facts
☑ Coercive control is illegal in the UK and includes behaviour that deprives a person of independence.
☑ It is often harder to recognise because it is not always physical.
Safety Plan — Coercive Control
☑ Recognise the tactics: Isolation, constant checking, threatening statements.
☑ Plan discreetly: Do not alert the abuser while planning.
☑ Use coded signals: Agree with a trusted friend on phrases that signal distress.
☑ Seek professional help: Legal advice, restraining orders, support services.
UK Support:
• Respect Men’s Advice Line — 0808 801 0327
• Galop (LGBTQ domestic abuse support) — www.galop.org.uk
